Thursday, January 17, 2013

Gun Control Debate Brings Out The Nuts

Well, it's happened. President Barack Obama released his oh-so-scary list of (really pretty sensible) gun control measures a la executive action. The executive orders are pretty tame really, and do not touch the physical guns themselves, but relate mostly to intra-agency cooperation, sharing of medical/psych data, universal background checks, and other orders freeing up the law to do what they were supposed to in the first place-- enforce laws already on the books. And while over 65% of Americans generally favor these changes, the minority (aka, gun nuts) turned up the volume to level 30 today to drown ou the voice of reason with SUPER DRAMATIC cries of tyranny, communism, you name it (really its the same list of accusations the far right ALWAYS uses vs Obama when they don't like something he does). In fact the left was really underwhlemed with these exectuive orders, while the right literally freaked out and threw another tantrum.

Let's go down the list of insane accusations, rationales, and other kooky business, shall we?

1) Obama's coming to get your guns.

No, he's not. In fact, he's asked congress and local governments to handle the issue of assault weapons. Nothing in his executive order in any way impedes your ability to buy a shotgun, rifle, pistol, or AR-15 assault weapon. He did mandate background checks (which over 80% of Americans, including NRA members support), and free up the feds to do actual research on guns they confiscate. You know, directed people to enforce laws already on the books.

2) This is an assualt on the 2nd Amendment, and our rights to own guns.

Well, even Fox News disagrees with you there. Seems that it is actually IN THE CONSTITUTION that the government can and should regulate firearms and other dangerous stuff. You have the right to 'bear arms', but not to posess 'weapons of mass destruction', simply because you don't like the decisions our government makes. And again, nobody took away yoru AR-15. Even in California where Sen. Dianne Feinstein is crafting gun control legislation and a possible assault rifle ban, she is 'grandfathering' already legally purchased AR-15's and their owners into the program by saying they can keep what they own. So nobody is a) taking your guns or b) assaulting the constitution. Another blatant overreaction.

3) "This is how it begins, in small steps, until we have no guns and the government runs roughshod over the people".
This would be laughable if so many people didnt believe it. I think this goes back to Obama Derangement Syndrome, where people and the media have scared themselves so long, and so hard, about our supposed "Socialist Marxist Commie Kenyan Muslim Foreign Born Dictator Barack Hussein Obama", but there might be other reasons for this. Conspiracy loonies always think that the "Illuminati" are out pulling the strings, and that Obama must be 'up to something' because, well, his middle name happens to be Hussein! "Damn it all don't you 'libtards' see?? Odumbo is killing America, aaaaaah!" Calm it the eff down there buck-o, and think. Why would anyone, especially a sitting US president, WANT to kill America? What the fuck is in it for him? What would it's 'destruction' look like? How many troopers you think we got to come to every house and take guns away from over 150,000,000 people? You seriously believe that an elected president would willfully, overtly OR covertly, some how sabotage America? You are full of it, or need your head examined. Insane. You don't think at all, or you just are so full of hate you are incapable of rational thought. I'm just going to say it. Just because he is black does not mean hes 'comin to get ya', you paranoid, racist morons. There I said it. In the age of information, your ignorance is a choice. Shame on you for being so damned stupid.

4) Hitler took away Germany's guns before he went apeshit.
Again, WRONG. He actually LOOSENED stricter gun control laws imposed by his predecessors. If anything, you gun nuts out there LOVE Hitler (but are too afraid to admit it). Yes, Germany's gun control laws WERE stricter than ours are today (and guess how many shootings happened per year? I'll give you a hint, LESS THAN 15!), but Hitler in fact armed his populace in order to combat the Jews! If you're going to quote history, make sure you ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!! Jesus fucking Christ.

5) This is tyranny.

No, it's called democracy. This is how it works. People ask for a law to protect them. The government drafts legislation. They either approve of it or not. It gets passed, or it doesn't. EVERY president has issued HUNDREDS of executive orders since they were made available to the executive brach. Your argument that using the authority given to the president by elected officials who YOU VOTED FOR is in any way tyrannical is again, really stupid. Tyranny is an over reach of authority, which has not occurred. Cried from GOP senators to impeach Obama will be found by the conservative Supreme Court to be laughable, and then the GOP will turn around calling Justice John Roberts a RINO again, just because they don't like his fairness... again, LAUGHABLE.

6) Guns don't kill people, people kill people.

Yeah, someone has to pull a trigger. But if you're of the mind that having guns around isn't an incentive to more easily kill a person, or use the superior weapon over an inferior one, you are again, stupid. Lets try a mental experiment shall we?

Let's say you're a crazy person who wants to mass murder people, and like the recent killings, you plan it all out ahead of time. Do you:
A) choose to do mass murders with a baseball bat?
B) Choose to do mass murders with a chainsaw?
C) Choose a machete?
D) Or do you choose a fucking semi automatic rifle with 30 bulletts?

Only a complete twit of a mass murderer would choose anything other than a gun, more especially a semi automatic military style rifle. As Samuel L Jackson famously said in "Pulp Fiction"... "AK-47. When you absolutely, positively need to kill every last mother fucker in the room, accept no substitutes". The AR-15 is a non-military version of an M-16, which is far superior to an AK in many ways. You starting to see reason here? No individual mass murderer has EVER chosen a blunt or sharp object to do the job of a weapon of mass destruction. Gas, guns, or fire. That's it. People pull the triggers, yes. But the sheer number and high availability of guns, coupled with our glorificaiton of them, make them way way more attractive than any other weapon, except maybe for bombs.

7) Putting armed police in our schools will keep our kids safe.

According to the AMA, even having one gun in the house multiplies your chances of a gun related death by a factor of 42%. Putting multiple guns (and I truly don't care who they are weilded by) in schools, around curious children, is in fact very dangerous. All it takes is for a cop to draw his gun, fire, and miss. All it takes is for some kid to sneak up on a cop and grab the gun and get to firing it off. All it takes is one lapse of vigilance of ra cop to set down a firearm while using the bathroom and forget it there for a kid to find. There are so many ways this could go very very bad. Not to mention cops have recently resorted to using tasers and pepper spray on tantrum throwing kids. Yeah, if I were a parent, I don't think I'd want armed officers, security guards OR teachers to be around my kid. This makes homeschoolign take on a whole nother level of appeal...

And do you really think that an armed assailant with a machine gun is going to be scared of one cop with one pistol? Oh, yes, lets arm the cops with machine guns too! Kids don't fancy those at all!

8) As an American, I have a right to do whatever I wish.
Stupid, no you don't. That's why we have LAWS. This is perhaps the most insanely stupid statement I have heard so far. "You know nothing, John Snow". While we were founded on the Constitution, we also have something called the Bill of Rights. The Bill of Rights is the baseline for the freedoms you enjoy, and the constitution is the document we periodically 'amend' to create a 'more perfect union'. You fought for the right to shape the country, freely, to the will of the people. Not to the individual. What's the saying... "No man is an island". You are in fact part of a nation that has laws that supposedly advance our civilization. Don't like a law? Others do, and they voted for it. This country makes 11,000 new laws a year. Some are great, some are really stupid. But we are ALL required to follow them, like it or not. And guess what? The Government, unlike you, is capable of enforcing those laws. You have no posse, no unlimited funding, and nowhere near the armament as our government should you choose to rebel and not follow the law. "I fought the law, and the law won" is not just a catchy tune. Go watch "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" (a historically true tale) and tell me how that workedout for them, even before machine guns were hand-held.

9) I think the AR-15 is really cool. I like it for hunting.

Thinking something is 'cool', and 'liking it for hunting' does not constitute a NEED. You dont NEED that gun for anything. You WANT the gun to feel powerful, and in your head, you want to fantasize about that poor idiot who breaks into your home, or about how awesome it would be to simply annihilate those damn coyotes that go howling through your property. This does not constitute a need. This constitutes a selfish desire to want to be a god of death in your own mind. When you have a machine gun, you get to decide, silently, whether or not you choose to use it. That in your mind is 'really cool' but for the rest of us, it is terrifying that you think that way. Wonder what else is rattling around inside that head of yours that we should be worrying about?

10) I need my guns to protect me from enemies foreign or domestic, and against government tyranny.
Ever heard of the placebo effect? You give something to a person and claim it will do something. They don't know whether or not it's fake, but psychologically the brain might think it's real. Well, your AR-15 is a placebo. In your head, you really might think that owning one gives you a shot at "takin' down the man" if he should be so audacious as to suggest you give up your prescious. Well, hate to break it to you, but there wouldn't be much you could do except fire off a few rounds and die when a sniper takes you out in a stand off. The government has many action plans for idiots holed up in a house with a machine gun. Nobody in the history of the modern USA has ever 'fended off' a SWAT team, an ATF squad, an FBI raid, or a CIA operation, and you're a complete fucking fool if you think your little pea shooter even compares to the weaponry they have. Your next argument might be "well we need to be equally armed so the government knows not to fuck with us". No, no, and no. You don't have the training, the reflexes, nor the intelligence to properly handle any of that dangerous shit, unless you have in fact been in law enforcement or the military. Period. you don't get a rocket launcher, unmanned drone, SAM's, satellites, nuclear bombs... you do not get to have any of that. So that argument is flat out stupid as well. Face it. You are a citizen in the MOST POWERFUL COUNTRY IN THE WORLD. You can either accept that, or you can move to Yemen where the Tea Partier's wet dream is in full swing-- limited governmnet, 100% gun ownership, no regulations, and gays are completely illegal and can be put to death. You should live there. You'd like it.

Follow up:

Look, long story short, gun control is a touchy issue, obviously, but the sane must prevail over the zealots. Smart must prevail over stupid. Morality must prevail over maliciousness. Love must prevail over hate. The will of the majority must not be drowned out by a select few in the minority. Knowledge must prevail over ignorance. You must decide for yourself the truth by seeking it out, not listening to the blowhard doomsayers int he GOP or NRA. You know what's right, do the right thing.

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