Friday, June 19, 2015

Destroying GOP Principles, One At A Time

Election season is here again, and of course that means partisan rhetoric ad nauseum.

Last election season brought us such brainy GOP mantras as 'Drill Baby Drill', '9-9-9', and otehr simplistic ideas that have no basis in reality.

This season, we have at least 12 - count em - 12 GOP Presidential 'hopefuls' and about 4 Democratic ones.

Why the disparity? Let's just say that the GOP's strategy has always been "Chuck a ton of crap and see what sticks" and it's no different than when they field candidates.

This year, we have Rand Paul, Chris Christie, Lindsay Graham, Jeb Bush, Rick Santorum, and a ton of other repeat-o-matics in the field.

While they all pretend to be individuals, in reality they are networked to the GOP command center (AKA Fox News) via invisible brain waves that begin to control their mouths once they enter the race. If you need evidence of this, harken back to the time that Chris Christie actually made sense, and Jeb Bush was a moderate.

All of that flies out the window when you become a GOP candidate for the Presidency. So here are the issues we'll hear them spew, and the logical responses based in reality that they'll never listen to.

1) Abortion. Good. Fucking. God. Can these people not understand what the Supreme Court is and what it stands for? This is SETTLED. But no, we're going to hear more bullshit that the GOP cares about 'the sanctity of life', even though what they are actually proposing is "We don't care if you are rich, poor, young or old, sick or dying, you will give birth to that motherfucking baby", which in turn raises poverty rates, crime, and other ills of society. So unless you actually like the idea of a poverty stricken and desperate slave-force that will work for a buck, this is an insane issue to defend. Which brings us to the next cog in the GOP clock of death:

2) Abolishing the minimum wage. As if this olicy would result in anything but the driving down of wages. The GOP have been very good at manipulating the public to actually feel bad for the privileged, absurdly wealthy people in this country. They're painted as 'job creators' rather than labor barons. They're painted as 'good patriotic Americans' when in reality the biggest businesses outsource the fuck out to India and China. They're painted as the patron saints of the allmighty American Dream. Which they're not. Anyone who's ever been laid off because the company is 'cutting costs' knows that this is all for the shareholders - faceless rich pigs who don't give two shits about you and your family. Which brings us to cog number three - the family.

3) Family values. If I have to get my family values from the GOP, please just kill me now. The Adams Family has stronger family values than any of the GOP posers/hypocrites that tout them. Let's libsplain this so the neo cons get it in plain-speak. The GOP version of family values is as such: Man works, woman stays home and takes care of kids, does what man says. The 1950's version of the Cleavers. This is not reality. Several things invalidate this rosy worldview of a man's paradise: Women have brains, ideas, and ambitions. Just like men! (surpriiiiise!). There also exists such a thing as gay people, who do not fit into their idea of a nuclear family. And transsexuals. And millenials who don't marry. And other people who don't fit into that mold. This apparently makes them piss their pants. How dare you challenge what they have defined as marriage and love, after all? Stop it liberals! You're making their tiny brains and thick skulls hurt!

4) ...and on to LGBT issues. The current GOP is made up of mainly Evangelical leaning christians. This is because in the 1970's the GOP was in trouble as it was (like it is now) out of good ideas, irrelevant, and had the whole Nixon fire to put out. This has led to a co-opting of the GOP by zealot Chrisitans. From Ted Cruz, to Jeb Bush, to Rick Santorum, these people are incapable of moral thought outside of what their church-going constituents tell them to believe and support. Incapable. If the Bible said "This is a fish" and it was in fact a turtle, they would not think twice about calling it a fish. The LGBT issue is a lot like this. Everyone outside the Christian bubble (and some who exist in it) understand that being gay is another facet of the human species. Most sane people would simply encounter a gay person, and wish them well. Christians on the other hand fantasize about what their life in hell would be like, and feel obligated to 'save' (aka mentally torture) them. The GOP is no different. They would like to make life as absolutely undignified and uncomfortable for gay people as humanly possible. They don't like things that are different from white Christians. That's a fact.

5) Guns. Oh boy! Guns! Let's forget for a moment that we went to war over 3,000+ deaths on 9/11 at the drop of a hat, but 30,000+ people killed each year in the US by people shooting guns ilicits cries of "holy shit, now the liberals are coming to TAKE OUR GUNS". Not only has that NEVER happened in the entire history of the US, it won't happen. Why? Nobody has those kinds of resources, they don't want to get shot. The lack of resources is also why gun control fails miserably every time it's implemented. Their fear is overblown, and inconsistent with reality (as are most of their cynical anti-liberal positions). but that won't stop them from lying, and telling you that Democrats want to disarm you. Well, maybe that's not true. We might want to disarm the rebellious Southern racist fuckwits... but that's just good sense!

6) War. The GOP LOVES war. They make SO MUCH MONEY off of defense contracts it would make Scrooge McDuck shit gold. From chickenhawks like Chris Christie who never served, calling for war with Iran, to Lindsay Graham who absolutely wants to nuke them for daring to talk smack to Israel, we have a bunch of trigger happy thoughtless cowards who would rather fire missiles than sit down and talk in civility with our enemies to hash shit out. These men are dangerous to world stability.

Anyhow, you won't hear an issue from the GOP that makes one iota of sense. They want to take your wages, your healthcare, your social security, indeed, your very freedom, all while saying they're for freedom and liberty. It's a bunch of tired ass horse shit. Don't buy it.